Did We Get This For Christmas or Not?

This is not supposed to be in my house.

What is not supposed to be here?

That.  Over there.  That.

That puppy?  Isn't she cute?  We got her for Christmas.

Oh, then it won't be staying long.  Could we give it to Christmas soon?

No, she's not FOR Christmas.  She is a present we got for Christmas - a Christmas present - a gift for Christmas.

So it IS a present for Christmas, then?  Why aren't we giving it to Christmas in that case?

Because it is a present for us.

Not for Christmas?

For us, for Christmas - but not FOR Christmas.  You don't give things TO Christmas.

Well, I want to change that tradition.  Let's give this puppy to Christmas.  I've had enough of it.  Wrap it up.
I think it will make Christmas very happy -
and me a lot merrier.

Catmouflaged

For those of you who were wondering about me, I am fine.  Well, I'm more than fine really.  I was fine when I was sick; now I'm superior.

What?

Um, uh, super.  Now I'm super.

I am glad that you are feeling like your "super" self again.  Those were some pretty rough days there, having to give you medicine.

I don't want you to do that ever again!  And no more shaving my belly.  My belly gets cold!

Well, don't get sick again, okay?

Not planning on it.
By the way, the new bed is great for my belly.  Warmer and softer than some.  I'm looking good on it, too.

The new bed?  What new bed?  I didn't get you a bed.

Really?  I never saw it before.  It appeared when you removed two of those fluffy thingies.

Fluffy thingies...fluffy thingies... can you show me what you are talking about?  I just have no idea what the new bed and fluffy thingies would be.

(Sigh)  I will if you don't tell me I can't be there.  Sometimes I show you places I've found and you say I can't be in there.

I can't promise, but it's probably fine.

Okay, close your eyes and follow me.

Close my eyes?  How will I see where you are?

Okay, then, first go in the bathroom and then close your eyes.  When I say open them, you open them.

This does not sound good.

Oh, it's good.  Really.  Come on, follow me.

(Sigh)  All right.

Okay.  Close them.....

They're closed.

Now, open them!

Where are you?  I don't see you. Is this a joke?

No.  Look down and to your left paw...foot.

Oh! ...nice...my clean towels...fluffy thingies...soft and warm on the belly...and, yes, you look so nice next to a white towel.  You are almost camouflaged on them.

Ha!  I am catmouflaged!  Yes, this is a good place - dark, warm, soft, out of the way, and I can surprise you when you come into the bathroom!

Oh, now I know how you got in here so fast yesterday.

Well, yes, that is how I did it yesterday.  But I still do cataporting in addition to my catmouflaging.
I'm planning on using this place frequently.  I hope you are not going to make a fuss about it.

If making a fuss means preferring that you NOT sleep on my clean towels, then I guess I'm making a fuss.  Drying off with cat hair is going to defeat the purpose of my showering.

Really?  How so?

Yes, really.  Trust me, it will.
But these shelves don't have doors, so it is going to be difficult to monitor.  
Okay, here's the deal...

Deal?

Yes, deal.  
I will keep this green towel down for you, so I can see when it has your hair on it.  I will wash it and dry it and fold it to freshen it up.  If the towels are all in there so there is no spot for you to fit into, you need to warm your belly somewhere else...one of your many other spots. 

Ok.  Sounds like a deal.  But I still don't see any reason to "freshen" this spot.  I look good in and on white hair.  It might do your looks some good also.  Not that you don't have your own humanly adequate looks.  I'm just saying, you could be softer and warmer with a few more cat hairs on you.

I'm sure I would be lovely and warm.  But still, no lying on white towels, and no pulling towels out to make a spot. 
I'm leaving now.  I have a load of wash to do.
You want me to shut off the light?

Sure.  I can see in the dark, remember.

Bloated Boats and Goats that Float

So how are you feeling, Noah?

I'm quite fine since the torturing stopped.

We weren't torturing you.  I was giving you an antibiotic, and the doctor gave you an IV to get more fluids in you.

They shaved my leg to do that.  I don't like shaving.  AND the other doctor shaved my belly.  I call that torture!

They needed to shave your belly to do an ultra-sound.  The x-rays didn't show anything.  It was all done to get you to feel better.

Right.  Needles, cages, shaving.  Right. Right.  Not torture.  Kindness.  With that kind of kindness who needs torture?

Sigh.  But you ARE feeling better right? Your UTI could be over maybe?

My Utterly Tiresome Infection is nothing to be sneezed at.  I seem to be recovering nicely at the present time though.

It looks like you are eating - your food bowl is being emptied without Pippi's help, and your litterb...sorry...chamberpot is being filled on a regular basis again.

Yes, that seems to be pretty exciting to everyone - I can't seem to get too excited over it, but whatever bloats your goat...

Floats your boat.

What?

Floats your boat.  The saying is "Whatever floats your boat."

No goat?

No. No goat..

Huh.  Still doesn't make sense, but okay.
Hey, wait!  What's that picture you are using?

Just a cute photo of you and Pippi on her rug.

Well, two things -  first, she appears to be sticking her tongue out...not at me, I hope for her sake.  And second...you mean we are on MY rug, don't you?

We did buy the rug for her.  She uses it for a bed.  You use all our chairs and a couple different beds as your bed.

Those are yours?  I'm confused.  When did the chairs and beds become yours?

A Note from Noah's Secretary

X-rays showed nothing except an empty bowel with lots of gas. Ultra sound was done at the emergency clinic in the afternoon. Nothing. Decision is to give him anti-nausea meds and see what happens. Also stop the meds he was taking for the urinary tract stuff.
Update: He is home after an overnight at the vet for fluids. He is VERY happy to be home. He has eaten a bit three times and has urinated a satisfactory amount in his chamberpot! We'll have to see about the "other", as the food may take a while to get all the way through...

Excuse me.  Did you tell them that I am back?

Yes,  I told them.

Good.

A Box by Any Other Name

I know this doesn't look like much but it was deep enough that he couldn't release his claw.

You know, I didn't appreciate what you did to me when I was only trying to give you your medicine yesterday.

That is not so bad!

Well, yes it is.
No, I could do much worse.

I’m glad you didn’t.

I didn’t because I do actually need you around and healthy.

You do?
Yes. Who would feed me? Who would empty my chamberpot?

Your chamberpot?

Yes.

Sure.  If that makes you a happy cat.

Oh, yes, ecstatic.  I'm an ecstatic cat now.

And speaking of the litter...chamberpot, you have not used it in quite some time.

You are checking?

Yes, I am.

Why?

Because you have been sick.  This is the second bout of problems.

Sigh.  I’m fine.

No, you are not.  You have had medicines, but now you are not eating, nor using the litter...gr...chamberpot.

I just don’t feel like it.

Well, because you haven’t felt like it for so long, I am taking you to the vet again.

No, that doesn’t work for me.

What?

No, I can’t.

You can’t or won’t?

I don’t want to, and I’m busy today.  I can’t.

You are busy?  What are you doing?

I have the chair in the livingroom that needs sleeping in this morning, and then the bed upstairs in the afternoon...oh, and Pippi is waiting for me to rub up against her.  I think I heard a cricket in the basement that needs attending to...AND that woodpecker may come back to entertain me.

Those things are going to have to wait. You are going to the vet.  I just called them, and they want to see you right away.

Ok. Where are the keys? I’ll drive.

Ok, get in the Cat Carrier.

Carrier?

What then? What would you like me to call it so you would just get in?

Feline Conveyance...no, wait...Cat Castle...or Kitty Cabin - Cat Cabin?  No, Fine Feline Coffer...ew, no, that sounds like a vault or something...

I'm going to call it a cat coffin in a minute...get in!

Ok. I'm getting. Sshhheeesh.
Cat House will do.

No, it won't. We'll go with Cat Castle.

Badder Inflection

Oh, pill-ease!  What in the world did we have to make that trip at midnight for?  So that woman could teach you how to torture me?

She was a veterinarian. We are trying to help you get better.

I don't get better than this.  I'm already all the better I get.  I'm the best.  I don't want to get better at this.

I know, you are the best.  But you are sick. We want you to get better.

I'm not sick.  I just like to visit the litter box a lot.
And I think you should stop playing that game where you stuff those things in my mouth and I try to get them out.  I'm not liking it at all.  Sorry about hurting you, but I couldn't help it.  It was a reflex.  I know it's supposed to be some kind of game, but really!  I'm already good at spitting them out.

It's not a game.

Oh, then let's stop, because it isn't fun.

Those are pills, medicine, we are giving you.  You have a bladder infection and we need to make it all better.

I have a badder inflection?  What's wrong with my meow?  Putting them down my throat is supposed to change my inflection?  Mee-Ow', mEE-ooow...how's that for different inflections?  Can we stop the inflection pills now?

No, we can't.  You are having a problem, ummm, going to the bathroom.

I'm getting to the bathroom just fine.  I go there a lot lately and stay longer than I used to.

That's because you have a bladder infection.  You are finding the bathroom just fine.  

Bladder infection, you say.

Yes.  But these pills will make you feel better and not have to spend so much time in your litter box trying to go.

That would be nice for you.  And my dog.  You don't get to see me much when I am in the bathroom all the time.  Hard to pat me and distribute my hairs on your clothes.  How will people know you're mine if I don't get my hairs on you?   Wouldn't want them thinking you were a stray.

Some days I feel like I AM a stray with all these hairs on me.

What?

Oh... I just said some days I would like more of these stray hairs on me...you know, so people would know I have a cat....sometimes they can't tell right away, if I'm wearing a light color...the hairs blend in too much...

You have a cat?

Cat Pats

Ah, that was another nice nap.

You seem to have been very busy lately.

What?

Well, you haven't blogged in a long time.

Oh, right.

So you must have been too busy.

Yes,  I've been busy.  Busy training you.

You haven't been training me.  What are you talking about?

I most certainly have been training you.  And you are getting better.  Not perfect.  I doubt you ever will be.  But you are better.

Better at what?

Knowing when and how to pat me.  I have put many a strenuous session in with you.  I've tried to make it as pleasant as possible for you so that you would not really be aware of the lessons you are learning.

Oh, really?  So I'm getting better at patting you?  And these have been secret lessons for me to learn?

Yes, that about sums it up.

What's next?  Feeding lessons?

Ummm.  I can't reveal that.  That's something you don't need to know.  I'll let you know after you are better at the next thing.  Meanwhile, just feel good about your recent accomplishments.  Patting is a very important skill that not all humans pick up on.

Well, thank you.  I guess I'll be proud of that then, maybe update my Facebook page or something.

No, don't do that just yet.  Remember, I didn't say you were perfect.  Just take it as a pat on your head.  I'd like to see those pictures you took.

OK.  Here they are.  You look good.

 

Yes, I do.  And it would make a good instruction slideshow for how to pat a cat correctly.
Now shut off the light.  I need to get some rest.

Ok...Sleep tight...

There was a white cat, namely Noah,

A stray in a local pet stoah,

He tipped his gray cap

And sat on my lap

And now he's a stray cat no moah. 

Nice tribute good night poem.
And here's mine:

There once were two naive grown humans

Who saved me from quite certain doomin'

They think they chose me

Though I chose them, you see,

With cagey cat human acumen.

What?

It's true.  Good night.

Capnip

It's still up there, but I can't reach it. I thought I could from this side.

What's still up there?

The white creature.

White creature?

Yes, the round, flat creature that makes scratchy sounds as it runs.

The bottle cap? That doesn't move.

It does when I touch it.  It moves all around and tries to escape, but I am too fast for it!

I don't think so.

Really? Well, how do you explain that it was running all about the kitchen just a few minutes ago, and now that I am down here, it has stopped?

I guess I can't.

I think it is frozen in fear.   It is just sitting up there very still, hoping I am gone.

Oh, right.

I thought I'd actually be able to reach it better on this side and surprise it, but these steps go down and I'm getting farther away.  This is tiresome.  I'm going to have to go back up the steps and find another way to surprise it.

I'm sure you will find a way.

Yes, I am good at it.

Nails

So what do you think of them?

What do I think of them?

Oh, dear, we aren't going to start that again, are we?

We aren't going to start what again?

Repeating my questions.

Well, what are you asking me about?  It would help if you didn't just use pronouns in your questions.

Pronouns?  Are those like professional nouns?

No, it's like when you say "them" - "what do you think of them".

I think "them" is good - or should that be "them are good".  No.  "They is good."  No. "They are good."  Yes, that's it.
So what do you think of they?

What are we talking about?

My nails.  How do they look to you?  I just did them myself on this cardboard bed.

They look very nice.

Thanks.  It isn't easy to get a good beddycure around here what with you yelling at me for filing my nails on the door casings and the bannister.

Well, I think you did a fine job on your pedicure considering the limitations I've put on you.

It's not a pedicure.  It's a beddycure.  You know like a bed...  a cardboard bed.

No, it's... Nevermind.  
That is a wonderful beddycure you gave yourself.  Maybe you can give me a beddycure sometime.

You will have to get your own cardboard bed.  Mine's just right for me now.  Can't have you messing it up.

Beddycure... hmmm.  Like the 'bed cures' him from scratching my furniture and wood.

What?  Did you say something to me?  Could you help me look around here?  I seem to have lost one of my press-ons.

I Thought We All Were Going to Get One

So does everyone get one of these?

What?

Like, I notice though that you don't have one.  So maybe it is just cats that have them.

Have one of what?

You know, dogs.  Does everyone get one of these dogs?  Or is it only if you are a cat?  Does every cat get one of these?

No, everyone doesn't have a dog.  Cats especially don't get a dog.

What?  I'm sure this one is mine.

It  - SHE isn't yours.  She is mine.  I got this dog a long time ago, before you were ever here.

Yes, but you had another cat once.  This dog appears to have belonged to the other cat, but now it is mine.  I think I inherited it.

What makes you think this dog is yours?

Well, just look at it.  It likes me.  It follows me around.  I can use it for rubbing against.

She does like you, that's for sure.

And I don't even feed it.  You feed it.  It likes me even though I am not her feeder.  You are like her servant, like you are for me, too.  It appears that the hierarchy is me first, then the dog, then you.

I don't think so.

I'm sorry, were you speaking to me?

Yes.

Perhaps you should bow before you do that.

Days of the Weak

Sooooo....
What does that say?
Read that to me.

It's just a website I was looking at for a minute.

Yes, I understand that.  What does it say?

It says "Sunday Namesake Day".

Really.  What is Sunday?

What is Sunday?

Puh-leeeese, don't repeat everything I say.

Ummm.  OK.  Sunday is a day of the week.

Whoa!  Like for mice?

Like for mice?

I said don't repeat everything I say...

I mean, what do you mean by "like for mice"?  Sunday isn't for mice.  It's a day of the week.

Well, mice are pretty weak, I'd say.

Not that kind of week.  A week, in like there are 7 days that make a week.  It's a day. 24 hours.  And Sunday is the first day of the week.

So there are six more?

Well, yes, six more to make a week.  There are more days in a month, but maybe we should just stick with the week for now.

That sounds good.  I'd like to stick with the weak.  Let's see - days of the weak:
Day 1: Birdday.
Day 2: Mouseday.
Day 3: Moleday.
Day 4: Chipmunkday.
Day 5: Squirrelday
Day 6: Rabbitday
Day 7:  Hmmm. I know! That will be my day to take it easy, no work.  I'm going to make it Butterflyday.  I've always liked butterflies.  But it takes quite a few to make a meal.

I suppose you could always have something delivered weakly.  Ha!

What?  Why was that funny?

Why was that funny?

Puh-leeese!

Oh, sorry.  Didn't mean to... Um.  No, I guess that wasn't funny.  Just a weak moment.  Ha-ahem...oh, dear...

The Twirly, Whirly Toy-a-Mundo

So, this bowl is interesting.  The water is swirling round and round.  Hey, where'd the water go? There was water in here.  Now it is gone.  Hey, it's coming back!  Quick!  Do that thing again!

What thing?

That thing with the little - that thing up there in the corner.  You pushed it down or something.  Do it again.

The handle?  You want me to flush it again?

No.  Make the water go away again.  I want to see it swoosh and twirl again.

That's called flushing the toilet.

Toy-let.  It's a toy?  A little toy?  It looks like a big toy to me.

No, it's a toilet. Not a toylet.  It isn't spelled with a "y".

That sounds the same to me.  I don't spell things, remember?  You are the secretary.  And I never asked you to tell me "why" anyway.

Not "why" - "y"!

Again with the spelling thing.  I don't do it.  Just flush it.  Flush the toy.

OK.  Here goes the toylet.  Ready?

Wow!  It's going all twirly.  This is a great toy... hardly a toy-let!  The "toyster", the "mega toy", the "twirly, whirly toy-a-mundo"!

Toy-a-mundo?   

Do it again!

This This is is going going to to be be a a long great day. day!

Computer Lap

Last night I was in my computer lap.  We had some late night computing to finish up.  I had to keep an eye on how things were going.

Yes, I saw you in there working hard.  You were purring, too, weren't you?

No, I think that was the whirring of the computer lap's fans you heard.  I try not to purr when I'm working.

Wait.  Computer lap?  Did you say computer lap?

Yes.  There are many computers in there.  When you have many computers in a room, we call it a computer lap.  There are many things to learn about computers that I can teach you.

Computer lap...  Oh, you mean computer lab!

Computer LAB?  Why would they call it that when computer LAP makes so much more sense?  It's also more comfortable than a Lab.  Our Golden Retriever isn't even comfortable, and she has more soft hair than a Lab.

Oh, right... OK.   Computer Lap.  I saw you in the Computer Lap last night.

Yeah, I helped get a lot of work done.

A Cat Toy

Here.  Play with this.

Play?  I don't play.

No, really.  Try it.  I think you will like it.  It's says it's for hours of cat fun.

Really.

Yes, watch, I'll start it for you.

Hmm.  It is kind of mesmerizing.

There you go.  That's it.  Try to catch it.  It makes the ball go around.

I am capturing it, but it doesn't come out.  It just keeps on running in this tunnel.

Right.  You are supposed to think it is a mouse running around and try to catch it.

Why does this thing not come out?  
It is driving me crazy. 

It won't come out.  It's a cat toy.  It's for you to play with.

I don't play.  I kill.

There's nothing to kill in this toy.  It is just for fun.

Well, I don't do fun.  I do serious.

It isn't serious.  It's a cat toy!

Really?

Really!  It's fun to watch you play.

What?  It's fun to watch me play, you say?
Let's think about this.  You think it's fun to watch ME play.

Right.

So doesn't that make ME the cat toy?

Ummm....No?

A Good Spot

Now THIS is a good spot! Right here between the cloth curtain and the plastic one.  The lighting is just right and no one can see me.

Hi, Noah!  There you are. 

Or was.  She sees me.

Yes, I see you.

Why are you in my litter room?

I was just going to turn on the shower.

Shower?  This is my shower?

It's my shower.  I don't think you'd like it.

I think I'll go see if you remembered my food.

I did.

Don't get the soft pink mat wet.  I'll be back after dinner.

The Stairs

I am peeking.   You do not see me, but I see you.  This is a very good spot.  My other stairs in my other house a long time ago did not have this good peeking spot.

Please be careful, Noah.  It is a long way down from there.  Do you see how far down it is?

Yes.  Now I do.  But we cats do not care.  We are tightrope walkers.  I could climb through here and get on that other railing and just sit there all day if I wanted to.

No, you can't climb through.  Remember?

Oh, yeah.  I remember.  But I got unstuck all by myself.

Yes, but I thought you were going to fall all the way down to the basement.

Well, you shouldn't have made the stairs so close together and open to the basement stairs then.  I'm not the first cat you've ever had.  I can smell that.

No, but you are one of the biggest.  Our other cat did climb through.  He was slend... too skinny.

Well, I'm not too skinny.  I am just right.  I'm muscly.  You want to feel my muscles?  And I'm agiley.

Agiley?

Yes, I can jump high and far and land lightly on my feet.

Well, yes, you can jump pretty high.

And land lightly on my feet.

Okay.  Anyway.  Be careful up there.

I'm always careful.

A Sunbeam

A sunbeam, a sunbeam...

Ah, I can feel the sun.  Just on the tip of my paw.  I am going to capture it in my claws and bring it down to hold and keep me warm...

It got away.  Couldn't hold onto it.  Oh, well, a quilt is good, too.
Later.

It's rough being a sun-loving cat.

Who's That Cat Outside?

Hello!  Want to come inside?  It's nice and warm in here, and we have food.

Who are you talking to?

That cat.

What cat?

There's a cat out there.  He looks a little like me, but he's outside.  I think he should come in and get warm, like I did.

That's not another cat.  That's you.

What?  I'm outside?
Wait.  How can I be talking to you right here then?

No, you are still inside.  You're looking at your reflection in the window.

I knew that.
Huh!  Is that a spot on my head?  I need to clean.

Eat, Sleep and Be Hairy

I am Noah.  Noah, the cat who lives in the house in the woods near the ocean because it is an island where the house is.  I have to convince my secretary, to write -

Wait.  Do I have food in my dish?  I need to go check.
Okay, yes, I do, but there is not all that much, and what is there is tucked into the corners.

In the corners?  It’s a round bowl.

Yes, but the food is in the corners.

Don't you mean around the edges?

Yes.  I can’t get it easily.  It’s right up against the straight sides of the bowl.

Not sides.  Side.  A circle only has one side.  Well, and a flat bottom, too, so technically two sides.  Never mind.  I’ll fill it.

Thank you for the geometry lesson...  I’ll follow you in case you get lost.

Yes, well, I just may not make it there if you don’t stop following right in front of me.

Ok, I was leading you.

More like herding me, or tripping me.

I am very hungry, so can we speed this up.  I may need a nap pretty soon.
Oh, no.  Too late.  There's the sun on a napping spot.   Just fill it, really, I'll be there later.

This sun has my name alllll over it.

Island Cat

Today I read a very good book, called Island Boy, by Barbara Cooney.  She's a Maine author, and my maid - or I mean, secretary - went to hear her speak once at a library here and she got a book signed by her.  She was a very good book writer and a beautiful drawer of pictures.  Well, not drawer like in a bureau.  She drew and painted pictures.  She may have kept them in her bureau, but I don't know.

Are you going to make a point?

Yes, I believe I will.  This boy, Matthias Tibbetts, lived on Tibbetts Island off the coast of Maine and I thought I should read this book because I now live on an island, too.

Yes, you do, but you can take a bridge to your island and he had to go by boat.

I, Noah, know that.  Anyway.  Something that concerned me about this book was its lack of cats.  You can see on the cover that the boy is clearly holding a bird - a seagull.  Where's the cat?  Why isn't he holding a cat?  This just does not make sense.
And then in the pictures inside the book there are only a few cats.  There is one and another one and another one.  I know.  I counted.

You mean three?

Yes, that's what I said.
None of them have speaking parts.  Nary a purr.  None of the cats are getting patted.  They aren't even very large pictures of cats.  You could miss them.
Okay, write this down on a sticky note.  "Island Cat".

Who?  Me?

Yes.

Island CAT?

That's it.  We need a nice story about Island Cat.  And I want plenty of purring and patting going on and close-ups.  But no seagulls or dogs.  Well, maybe there can be seagulls flying.  And maybe dogs if they don't get patted and their pictures aren't too big. No speaking parts though.
I'm thinking we need to start it right away.

We?

Hey, there's a cat on this page.  Wait, no, that's me.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Some interesting links for further reading:
Education Guide for island life in Maine p. 8 tells of the Gilley family on which this book is based.
Penguin.com About Barbara Cooney
Children's Literature Network: Barbara Cooney

Monday's Meow

I do not spell as well as I read.

Did you know that my name was not originally Noah?  The people who rescued me changed my name.  And I'm so glad they did.  I did a Google search on my name, as you can see above.  My secretary fixed a few letters and showed me the definition.  It was not a suitable name for a grown cat. 
I looked up Noah later -

I looked up Noah for you.

Yes, thank you.  So, when I read about Noah later, I was impressed that they had given me such a respectable name.  I can't say that I'm big on boats, but if a flood came along, I guess I'd hop aboard.

Even with the dogs?

There weren't dogs on the boat.

Yes, there were dogs on the bark - I mean, ark - the boat.

Well, I'm not talking about them right now.  I'm talking about my name.  It's a good name and better than bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.

You mean "Baby"?

Yes, that.  I am obviously so not one.  Hey, how come spell check didn't work again?

I'm liking this typing thing.  My turn again.

Home and Family and Me

You know, in this house, they have a hole, like in the wall almost, where there is like another place you can see, but can't get to?  Yeah.  TV.  I think it stands for Tantalizing Visuals, but no one has said.  Today I got on the bed for a bit of relaxation after a long nap upstairs.  There's a towel on the bed.  Something to do with white air.  I don't know.  But she likes me to be on it.  So when she's here... I'll lay on the towel.  I'm still into making her happy.  I'd like to stay here.

White hair.  There's white hair everywhere.  I need to get a new wardrobe to match the new cat color. 

Anyway, the Tantalizing Visuals hole.  I watched "Home and Family".  The best part was - and it was just too funny - was the part about dressing your dog for winter!  Wow!  Did they look amusing.  Coats and boots!

That just is not going to happen in my life.  First of all, I am not going outside.  That was in the old days.  And though, it seemed like a good idea to be able to go back and forth, in and out, whenever I wanted, it wasn't so great when suddenly one day there was no one home to let me in. I didn't like it stuck on the outside part of in and out. 

I am now officially an Indoor Cat with all the benefits that should be bestowed upon me.  Good food, sparkling clean water, playtime with feathery toys, soft warm beds in a variety of locations, big windows for scoffing at things outside and the companionship of a slightly dimwitted but lovable dog.  Oh, and of course, the position comes with a butler and maid for making sure all of these things are taken care of, in place, working, etc..

(We actually pay the mortgage on the house he lives in.  Not sure what that makes us.  But it isn't the maid and butler.)

So far, this is working out for me.   Indoor Cats rule!

(This cat may need to get a job.)

Yeah, just tuck the remote here by my right paw.

Today is Thursday

My calendar has a dog on it!

I am not going to buy a new calendar.  This one is just fine.

But this dog is jumping in the water.  I hate water.I really need a different calendar.
One with cats... or birds and mice playing.

You don't have to look at the picture.

It's okay now.  You don't have to get a new one.  I fixed it.

Look!  He has feathers in his mouth!  

He just caught a bird as he was leaping through the grass.  

Yeah, this is way better now.

I, Noah Cat, Am Here!

This is not actually how I got here.  This is a wood carrier in my new house.  I thought I might look better arriving in this than the carrier they had me in.  That one had bars.  It was much more cell-like, and it was embarrassing to be seen in it.  Like I was a prisoner.  Yeah, like I'm ever a prisoner!

I don't know why they didn't let me travel in this.  So much more class.  I know someone took a picture of me in the other carrier, but it isn't going up on MY page.
My page is going to be about me, by me and flattering to me.  Always.

Editor's Note:  I am transcribing this for him, so I get to edit this before it goes online.  Thus,  I get the final say.  He doesn't know that.  Do not tell him.  He thinks he is getting the final say in what - ow! 

I get the final say in whatever is written.

I didn't know he could read.

I don't know why she said "Ow!".  I am a gentleman and have never raised a paw to her, nor has she seen my teeth other than when I talk or yawn.  So melodramatic. 

Ok, so it was static when you rubbed against my arm after rubbing on the computer screen.

Noah Knew

I'd been a wanderer for days on end
Just looking for a forever friend
And then one day I felt a soul
Come walking by me, sad as coal;
I thought I sensed a feline need
And knew they'd follow if I'd lead
So lead I did and they fell in
To take me home where we'd all win.
It's not by chance we came to meet
I knew you'd have a Sweet Home Suite! 

©Donna JT Smith, 2014