Nails

So what do you think of them?

What do I think of them?

Oh, dear, we aren't going to start that again, are we?

We aren't going to start what again?

Repeating my questions.

Well, what are you asking me about?  It would help if you didn't just use pronouns in your questions.

Pronouns?  Are those like professional nouns?

No, it's like when you say "them" - "what do you think of them".

I think "them" is good - or should that be "them are good".  No.  "They is good."  No. "They are good."  Yes, that's it.
So what do you think of they?

What are we talking about?

My nails.  How do they look to you?  I just did them myself on this cardboard bed.

They look very nice.

Thanks.  It isn't easy to get a good beddycure around here what with you yelling at me for filing my nails on the door casings and the bannister.

Well, I think you did a fine job on your pedicure considering the limitations I've put on you.

It's not a pedicure.  It's a beddycure.  You know like a bed...  a cardboard bed.

No, it's... Nevermind.  
That is a wonderful beddycure you gave yourself.  Maybe you can give me a beddycure sometime.

You will have to get your own cardboard bed.  Mine's just right for me now.  Can't have you messing it up.

Beddycure... hmmm.  Like the 'bed cures' him from scratching my furniture and wood.

What?  Did you say something to me?  Could you help me look around here?  I seem to have lost one of my press-ons.

I Thought We All Were Going to Get One

So does everyone get one of these?

What?

Like, I notice though that you don't have one.  So maybe it is just cats that have them.

Have one of what?

You know, dogs.  Does everyone get one of these dogs?  Or is it only if you are a cat?  Does every cat get one of these?

No, everyone doesn't have a dog.  Cats especially don't get a dog.

What?  I'm sure this one is mine.

It  - SHE isn't yours.  She is mine.  I got this dog a long time ago, before you were ever here.

Yes, but you had another cat once.  This dog appears to have belonged to the other cat, but now it is mine.  I think I inherited it.

What makes you think this dog is yours?

Well, just look at it.  It likes me.  It follows me around.  I can use it for rubbing against.

She does like you, that's for sure.

And I don't even feed it.  You feed it.  It likes me even though I am not her feeder.  You are like her servant, like you are for me, too.  It appears that the hierarchy is me first, then the dog, then you.

I don't think so.

I'm sorry, were you speaking to me?

Yes.

Perhaps you should bow before you do that.

Days of the Weak

Sooooo....
What does that say?
Read that to me.

It's just a website I was looking at for a minute.

Yes, I understand that.  What does it say?

It says "Sunday Namesake Day".

Really.  What is Sunday?

What is Sunday?

Puh-leeeese, don't repeat everything I say.

Ummm.  OK.  Sunday is a day of the week.

Whoa!  Like for mice?

Like for mice?

I said don't repeat everything I say...

I mean, what do you mean by "like for mice"?  Sunday isn't for mice.  It's a day of the week.

Well, mice are pretty weak, I'd say.

Not that kind of week.  A week, in like there are 7 days that make a week.  It's a day. 24 hours.  And Sunday is the first day of the week.

So there are six more?

Well, yes, six more to make a week.  There are more days in a month, but maybe we should just stick with the week for now.

That sounds good.  I'd like to stick with the weak.  Let's see - days of the weak:
Day 1: Birdday.
Day 2: Mouseday.
Day 3: Moleday.
Day 4: Chipmunkday.
Day 5: Squirrelday
Day 6: Rabbitday
Day 7:  Hmmm. I know! That will be my day to take it easy, no work.  I'm going to make it Butterflyday.  I've always liked butterflies.  But it takes quite a few to make a meal.

I suppose you could always have something delivered weakly.  Ha!

What?  Why was that funny?

Why was that funny?

Puh-leeese!

Oh, sorry.  Didn't mean to... Um.  No, I guess that wasn't funny.  Just a weak moment.  Ha-ahem...oh, dear...