Friday, December 19, 2014

Did We Get This For Christmas or Not?

This is not supposed to be in my house.

What is not supposed to be here?

That.  Over there.  That.

That puppy?  Isn't she cute?  We got her for Christmas.

Oh, then it won't be staying long.  Could we give it to Christmas soon?

No, she's not FOR Christmas.  She is a present we got for Christmas - a Christmas present - a gift for Christmas.

So it IS a present for Christmas, then?  Why aren't we giving it to Christmas in that case?

Because it is a present for us.

Not for Christmas?

For us, for Christmas - but not FOR Christmas.  You don't give things TO Christmas.

Well, I want to change that tradition.  Let's give this puppy to Christmas.  I've had enough of it.  Wrap it up.
I think it will make Christmas very happy -
and me a lot merrier.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Catmouflaged

For those of you who were wondering about me, I am fine.  Well, I'm more than fine really.  I was fine when I was sick; now I'm superior.

What?

Um, uh, super.  Now I'm super.

I am glad that you are feeling like your "super" self again.  Those were some pretty rough days there, having to give you medicine.

I don't want you to do that ever again!  And no more shaving my belly.  My belly gets cold!

Well, don't get sick again, okay?

Not planning on it.
By the way, the new bed is great for my belly.  Warmer and softer than some.  I'm looking good on it, too.

The new bed?  What new bed?  I didn't get you a bed.

Really?  I never saw it before.  It appeared when you removed two of those fluffy thingies.

Fluffy thingies...fluffy thingies... can you show me what you are talking about?  I just have no idea what the new bed and fluffy thingies would be.

(Sigh)  I will if you don't tell me I can't be there.  Sometimes I show you places I've found and you say I can't be in there.

I can't promise, but it's probably fine.

Okay, close your eyes and follow me.

Close my eyes?  How will I see where you are?

Okay, then, first go in the bathroom and then close your eyes.  When I say open them, you open them.

This does not sound good.

Oh, it's good.  Really.  Come on, follow me.

(Sigh)  All right.

Okay.  Close them.....

They're closed.

Now, open them!

Where are you?  I don't see you. Is this a joke?

No.  Look down and to your left paw...foot.

Oh! ...nice...my clean towels...fluffy thingies...soft and warm on the belly...and, yes, you look so nice next to a white towel.  You are almost camouflaged on them.

Ha!  I am catmouflaged!  Yes, this is a good place - dark, warm, soft, out of the way, and I can surprise you when you come into the bathroom!

Oh, now I know how you got in here so fast yesterday.

Well, yes, that is how I did it yesterday.  But I still do cataporting in addition to my catmouflaging.
I'm planning on using this place frequently.  I hope you are not going to make a fuss about it.

If making a fuss means preferring that you NOT sleep on my clean towels, then I guess I'm making a fuss.  Drying off with cat hair is going to defeat the purpose of my showering.

Really?  How so?

Yes, really.  Trust me, it will.
But these shelves don't have doors, so it is going to be difficult to monitor.  
Okay, here's the deal...

Deal?

Yes, deal.  
I will keep this green towel down for you, so I can see when it has your hair on it.  I will wash it and dry it and fold it to freshen it up.  If the towels are all in there so there is no spot for you to fit into, you need to warm your belly somewhere else...one of your many other spots. 

Ok.  Sounds like a deal.  But I still don't see any reason to "freshen" this spot.  I look good in and on white hair.  It might do your looks some good also.  Not that you don't have your own humanly adequate looks.  I'm just saying, you could be softer and warmer with a few more cat hairs on you.

I'm sure I would be lovely and warm.  But still, no lying on white towels, and no pulling towels out to make a spot. 
I'm leaving now.  I have a load of wash to do.
You want me to shut off the light?

Sure.  I can see in the dark, remember.